Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Short Quotes

When things get hot, they expand, so I'm just getting warmer, not gaining weight. Anonymous

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" Anonymous

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Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Good Quotes

I'm not feeling very worky today. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Happiness is a long walk, with a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Happy Quotes

When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and fun. Not the school. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it. Anonymous

I'm so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Sleep Quotes

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It's dead yarn now though. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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