Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I changed my alarm clock sound with an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am. Anonymous

Work Quotes

I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind! Anonymous

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I'm trying to be awesome today, but I'm too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

When I get to work, I always hide first... because a good worker is always hard to find. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Chocolate is the best investment, you buy a 7oz bar and you gain 2lbs. Anonymous

Short Quotes

My kid asked me why a corn field is not full of popcorn after a lightning strike. I don't know either. Anonymous

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I'm not overweight, I'm on the wrong planet. Anonymous

Life Quotes

I often wonder who Pete is, and why we do things for his sake. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. Anonymous

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it's Sunday! Anonymous

Short Quotes

You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I can't wait until I'm old enough to pretend I can't hear. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Yawning is the body's way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining. Anonymous

Short Quotes

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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