My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever.
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect.
A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year!
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter.
Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons.
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.
Where do I see myself in a year? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.
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