Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If zombies ever attack, just go to Costco. They have strong walls, years of food supplies, and Zombies can't get in because they don't have a membership card. Anonymous
Life always has it's ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I asked my boyfriend when is his birthday is, and he said March 1st. So I marched in a circle around the room, then asked again. Anonymous
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Today I decided to do some manly work. I sat down on the couch and I'm watching TV. It's hard but it's necessary. Anonymous
Man Quotes Work Quotes
If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive? Anonymous
Short Quotes
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. - Anonymous
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous
I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then you're going first. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like "just kidding." Anonymous
Moments Sleep Quotes
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on T.V. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes TV Quotes
You know you're mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Anonymous
It's always fun listening to someone's lie when you already know the truth. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I lost my car chapstick and now my purse chapstick is in my room, and my room chapstick is in my car, and my whole life is just messed up. Anonymous
Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I'll let you do my job. Anonymous
Work Quotes
If you were wondering about my culinary skills... I've been asked to bring paper towels to our family gatherings. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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