Simpsons Funny Quotes

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Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!... Except the weasels. - Homer Simpson

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You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

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Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you? - Homer Simpson

Bart! With ten thousand dollars, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

See, I got this friend named.. Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo - Homer Simpson

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When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie... Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie... Police Academy.

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