Top 100 Funny Quotes
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Anonymous
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
Anonymous
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.
Anonymous
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Anonymous
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
Anonymous
Displayed 241-255 of 400 quotes.