Wise cracks and funny advise that people have given to others.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
The best revenge is massive success.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!!
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Steven Alexander Wright
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.
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