All short quotes and one-liners are automatically sorted by their rank. Hilarious quotes that suck will be deleted, so please vote if you think a funny quote sucks or rocks!

Short Funny Quotes > Quotes Listing - Page 1

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Rating: 3.32/5
Rate It:   12345



The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Rating: 3.25/5
Rate It:   12345



The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Rating: 3.24/5
Rate It:   12345



Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Rating: 3.24/5
Rate It:   12345



There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Rating: 3.23/5
Rate It:   12345






"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
Rating: 3.22/5
Rate It:   12345



The road to success is always under construction.
Rating: 3.22/5
Rate It:   12345



When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Rating: 3.22/5
Rate It:   12345



If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Rating: 3.21/5
Rate It:   12345



Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Rating: 3.21/5
Rate It:   12345



Next Funny Quotes Page >>>

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Thank you for visiting our funny quotes website. We hope you found the best hilarious funny quotes. For more funny stuff, commercials and pictures, check out our links! There you can find the best short hilarious quotes on the net.