Top 100 Funny Quotes
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Anonymous
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'
Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Anonymous
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
Anonymous
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.
Anonymous
Displayed 16-30 of 400 quotes.