Original new funny quotes written by our very own writers at CoolFunnyQuotes.com.
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
I called tech support and told them my computer is frozen. They said to hold the power button, and I was like 'Ummm.. it's covered with ice man."
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating.
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing.
Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.
Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!
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