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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Rating: 3.21/5
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Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Rating: 3.2/5
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Rating: 3.2/5
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Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Rating: 3.2/5
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What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Rating: 3.19/5
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"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
Rating: 3.19/5
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Rating: 3.19/5
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Rating: 3.18/5
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Rating: 3.18/5
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Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
Rating: 3.16/5
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